Super Happy Fun Smashwords July Promo

A Japanese guy wrote that title. Okay, maybe not.

For the entire month of July, Smashwords has allowed its writers to promote their stories for free. While all stories on Smashwords can be released for free, not all authors participate, and not with every story.

Well, starting on July 1st, all my stories are free on Smashwords until July 31st.

You can get all of The Adventures of Larson and Garrett, Gods and Dragons, Cayneian, everything for free in whichever format you prefer. That means that my sci-fi, my horror, my fantasy adventures are all free for a whole month, so grab your copies ASAP.

Also, make sure to review the stories even if you don’t like them. The reviews aren’t for me, they’re for other readers. Also, also, tell your friends and family to grab their copies, too!

You can find all of my stories here!

Thanks so much!

The promo may have ended, but rather than save some money, you can earn some money!

Don’t just buy books from Smashwords. Sell books through Smashwords. Smashwords offers a super simple type of affiliate marketing where if you simply post a referral link on your site, and people buy the book through your link, you earn a portion of the sales.

Got a bookblog? Constantly discussing books with friends? Well, then, you’re selling books. Might as well earn a cut. Learn more here.

The first three adventures of Larson and Garrett are now free

The Adventures of Larson and Garrett The Sleeping Tree By Aaron Dennis
The Adventures of Larson and Garrett The Sleeping Tree
By Aaron Dennis

Get three free stories from Smashwords. Get The Adventures of Larson and Garrett.

We start our fantasy adventure with The Sleeping Tree. A monster has invaded the dreams of children, but young Larson decides to be a hero and finds himself in the grips of danger.

The Adventures of Larson and Garrett A Werewolf in the Dark By Aaron Dennis
The Adventures of Larson and Garrett A Werewolf in the Dark
By Aaron Dennis

 

The story presses onwards. Seven years later, there is A Werewolf in the Dark. Larson’s brother has inexplicably vanished, but a mercenary hired to find a werewolf cajoles Larson into lending a hand before going off in search of his brother.

The Adventures of Larson and Garrett Infestation By Aaron Dennis
The Adventures of Larson and Garrett Infestation
By Aaron Dennis

 

The Adventures of Larson and Garrett truly begin in the city of Fargo. Larson and Garrett meet up for the first time. There is an Infestation of goblins near an elven community, but what’s worse is the goblins’ leader, a wicked spellcaster. The unlikely duo join forces with the town’s elven warriors, and bring the fight to the forces of evil.

Learn more about The Adventures of Larson and Garrett on Google+

That’s right, all three stories are officially free through Smashwords. The Adventures of Larson and Garrett bring about a new element to the world of fantasy adventures. They are written with a touch of horror, comedy, love, and intellect. The dynamic characters and gorgeous world building is what everyone has demanded over the years. Try the series. You have nothing to lose, except yourself in a world of fantasy….

Don’t just buy or download books from Smashwords. Sell books through Smashwords. Smashwords offers a super simple type of affiliate marketing where if you simply post a referral link on your site, and people buy the book through your link, you earn a portion of the sales.

Got a bookblog? Constantly discussing books with friends? Well, then, you’re selling books. Might as well earn a cut. Learn more here.

Misconception #23

#23

Vikings were big, burly hairy men with horned helmets, who killed and razed villages.

Unlikely.

First, the number of combs, brushes, and blades discovered among tombs and ruins suggests that “vikings”, and by that, most people mean Scandinavians, took very good care of their hair and facial hair. They also crafted colorful clothing, told stories, and carved pictures and runes into stones.

Now, judging by the harsh land, it’s also unlikely that most of them had enough food to get big. Anthropologists have also discovered that most viking skeletons were only average in size, at best, and they showed signs of malnourishment, so they were certainly fierce, and obviously smart, but they were far from the big, burly cartoon depictions we see today.

They were a crafty people, though, since their weapons were forged of steel rather than bronze; they smelted something called bog iron, and to do so, they had construct forges hot enough to smelt the ore, which is something no other culture was capable of doing at the time. The steel wasn’t just used for swords, however, they also crafted nails, which they used to build dragon boats, vessels made of long planks of oak. These boats, however small, were able to withstand the rigors of the high seas because of their flexibility.

Today, we know they sailed as far as Canada and may have traded as far south as America.

Finally, the notion that they wore horned helmets is a little strange; horned helmets didn’t make an appearance until the dark ages, and it was the British who wore them. There had never been any art in any part of Scandinavia portraying vikings as wearing horned helmets, so why cartoons, movies, and video games depict them as such will remain a mystery.

Misconception #22

#22

If you want to lose weight, you should skip breakfast.

That’s about the best way to ensure you don’t lose weight.

Why?

Because after waking, the body requires an intake of calories in order to start the metabolic reactions to burn the proper kinds of energy. If you skip breakfast, the body will go into a starvation mode, or an energy conservation mode, and you won’t burn stored fat.

Ideally, you should eat a healthy, if small, breakfast; maybe a banana, and then nothing else until dinner time. It’ll be tough to skip lunch, because you’ll be very hungry, but this is precisely when the body will be burning the excess energy.

Weight loss can be a very difficult process, especially if you’re eating the wrong things at the wrong time, but skipping breakfast is a surefire way to keep those pounds on.

A light breakfast of fruits is probably the best way to go; the simple carbohydrates are quickly broken down by the body and expended for energy then the body starts to burn the stored energy from fat cells. Do keep in mind that even if fat cells are expended, they do not vanish.

As I said, it’s a difficult process. One needs to understand that when energy is introduced into the body, but not used, it is stored in fat cells. These fat cells, once full, cannot expand, and new fat cells are formed, which hold more fat, however, once the fat from within the cells is expended, the cells remain, hence the ease with which weight is regained.

Misconception #21

#21

Christopher Columbus discovered America

He sure didn’t, he reached the Carribean, and he was orignally looking for a quicker route to India, thus naming the Americans Indians, because the crew didn’t realize where they landed.

Anyway, you ever heard of Colombia? Yeah, named after Colombus, because he made it there. America was named after Amerigo Vespucci, who also didn’t discover America.

In fact, there’s evidence that both the Chinese and the Scandinavians reached the Americas before anyone else, but at any rate, Europe decided to name America after Vespucci because of his contributions to cartography.

Sorry, Columbus….

Misconception #20

#20

Commandment six is thou shalt not kill

Wrong again! The KJV might state it as thou shalt not kill, but the actual commandment, as given to Moses by God, was thou shalt
do no murder.

There’s a big difference as murder requires plotting and a personal intention to end someone’s life. Now, we all know there are times when God said, and go kill the first born sons of every man, but it can’t be murder if it’s ordained by God. Furthermore, everyone has a right to their own safety, well-being, and long lived life, and if one must
kill to survive then it isn’t murder, at least not by U.S. legal standards; that’s why we have things like manslaughter, not that any of that matters because we’re talking about the commandments–God’s laws–and the 6th Commandment read: thou shalt do no murder.

Misconception #19

#19

Big head means bigger brain, which means smarter.

No way. Human brains are basically all the same size even though the sizes of skulls can vary. The truth is that too big and too small heads both cause severe complications, but, generally speaking, people with bigger heads have a lower IQ than people with
smaller heads. This is believed to be due in part by the fact that neurotransmitters don’t have to travel quite as far if the brain is slightly compressed, by they must travel further if a brain is slightly expanded.

Up to 50 years ago, the size of the average human head was 22 inches in circumference. Today, the average human head is closer to 26 inches, and there’s as much corroborating evidence suggesting that people are getting dumber.

As was stated earlier, there are two conditions–macrocephaly and microcephaly–which cause severe problems and mental
retardation, but the information provided here excludes those conditions; we’re just talking about big headed numb nuts like one of the guys, or maybe even more than one of the guys, running for president in this year of 2016. We’re also referring to a certain
actor that everything thinks is the bees knees even though he’s a blank faced moron who can only play one part- himself.

This guy has a pretty big head, too, and if you start to pay attention to what these big headed people do and say, ya’ might realize they ain’t quite so bright as others. The funny thing is that dumb people always think the smart people are the dummies; you try to explain that a massive head means larger synapses, and they look at you like you’re crazy, but then again there’s always that old saying; smart motherfuckers sound like crazy motherfuckers to dumb motherfuckers.

Misconception #18

#18

People choose to be gay

People don’t choose to be gay anymore than people choose to be straight.

Oh…if you ARE choosing to be straight, does that mean you want big, hairy, man dick, and you’re just declining to take it, but telling others that it’s wrong to be gay?

No one chooses to be turned on by breasts, butts, men, women, animals, smells, or anything else; it’s something biomechanical; it’s a reaction in our genetic makeup. Some people are simply only aroused by members of their own sex.

Consider this, did you choose which color is your favorite?

No, you were just born that way.

Did you choose to prefer the smell of strawberries over vanilla?

Nope, just born that way.

Did you choose to be an ass man?

Did you choose to be a woman who is aroused by bearded men?

No! You’re just wired that way, and that’s what’s happened to these homos and lezzies; there’s nothing wrong with them, they just happen to be aroused by people of their same gender, and what difference does it make?

Is there a such a need to reproduce?

No, the human race is in no danger of extinction.

What does it matter who gets it on with who?

So long as we’re talking about consenting adults, let them have their little slice of happiness. Life is altogether too short and difficult for anyone to be worrying about what others are doing in the privacy of their own pants.

This is the part where you say, “But the homodes and quiffords spread the AIDS!”

Well, everyone should use protection and practice safe sex. So, you say, “But I don’t want them trying ta’ have sex with me!”

Don’t worry, brah, they don’t want anymore to do with you than you with them. Homosexual, transsexual, and whatever other sexual there is isn’t going to start groping and pawing at you. People been gay and whatever else since the existence of human kind, and they’re not suddenly going to start harassing straight people.

You ever heard of a gaggle of gays chasing a straight dude down the street, catching him, beating him, and stringing him up?

I haven’t, and I doubt if it’ll start. These people are just regular people; there’s good and bad homosexuals, rich and poor ones, smart and dumb ones, pervy and prudish ones. You don’t bother them, and they probably won’t bother you either.

Besides, did you know that lots of wolves get gay? Did you know that heifers sometimes go lesbian? Not making it up….

Misconception #17

#17

Life can’t exist on a planet that is not like earth.

Incorrect; life like earth life can’t exist on a planet that is not lik earth. In other words, there will probably never be mammals, birds, or reptiles on a planet dissimilar from earth’s special variables, but to blindly assume that all life must breath a specific ration of oxygen, or even any oxygen at all, is asinine.

To assume that life must drink water to survive is just as crazy.

Why not could an organism have an internal organ that fuses hydrogen and oxygen to create water internally?

Such an organism could then exist in an environment where it breathed hydrogen and consumes some kind of flora, fauna, fungus, mold, or even minerals that release oxygen upon consumption.

Life like earth life certainly requires a planet similar to earth to exist, but it is ridiculous to assume that alien life isn’t so vastly dissimilar that it does not abide by earth’s rules.

Imagine a creature existing on world mostly covered by some form of liquid, perhaps even liquid oxygen. This creature could have long, chitinous legs with pores designed to scoop oxygen into its body, or maybe it doesn’t even require oxygen; plants on earth breathe carbon dioxide (that’s right, CO2 is not a poison) an alien creature might also breath CO2 or even ammonia gasses or a liquid form of the substance.

On the other hand, an alien creature might secrete some form digestive fluid that oxidizes iron; it feeds on rust and inhales the resulting gasses from the chemical reaction.

I am aware that on earth, most creatures require oxygen in order to complete certain chemical reactions in the brain, an I am aware that on earth, carbon based cells require water, an I am aware that carbon is the ideal building block due to its inherent atomic form, but there have been numerous studies that show silicon is almost as functional, but in spite of all that, there’s no reason to believe that form of flying jellyfish insect can’t ingest a different compound that contains hydrogen atoms and oxygen atoms and flourish amongst its radically different brethren.

As a matter of fact, let’s take it a step a further. Consider extremophiles that inhabit the most strenuous of  environments on earth. They’re earth life forms, but they live in sulfur, on lava, on the bottom of the ocean, in the deepest, darkest caves.

Is it so incredulous to assume that creatures could live in a completely liquid environment? A totally gaseous environment? Is it impossible for a creature to have such a radically different genetic makeup that it requires the intake of ammonia rather than water?

Perhaps it is safe to believe that intelligent life cannot exist out there in the universe, and it is definitely safe to assume that oxygen breathing creatures that drink water probably don’t exist off earth, but it’s dumb to think that a planet must be just like earth to support life- carbon based life? Maybe, but why not tungsten based life, silicon based life, or even helium based life?

If awareness and reproduction are the basis of life then anything is possible….